Birthing the Creative Process

I’m thinking today about how the creative process resembles the process of gestating and birthing a child.

About six months ago, I received the ‘download’ that there was a creative task in store for me which would eventually involve making a larger effect in the world. Around the Autumnal Equinox, I conceived. The vision for what I am currently calling ‘The Womb Medicine Project’ came to me clearly and with a lot of excitement and potential. I felt that I had been touched by something greater than myself, just like some women feel around conception, I was full inside, with a mystery of my own making.

After the conception, I went underground for the winter and gestated. I worked with creative frustration for many months and the daunting feeling that I was not doing anything to bring forth this vision. I stared in the face again and again the negative beliefs that kept me from moving forward ~ ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘It’s not OK to be an artist’, ‘I am too young to make that kind of effect’, ‘I’m not powerful enough’, and more. It was quite a bit like the morning sickness in the first trimester of a pregnancy…painful and nauseating!

I knew that I was being asked to do something risky, something that will change me forever and I didn’t believe it was real. Just like a new mama, pregnant for the first time, I wasn’t sure if ‘there was really something in there’ and I didn’t trust with certainty, that someday I would actually have the courage to give birth to this vision.

For the past 9 months my vision has for the most part, been as vulnerable and tender as a first trimester fetus. Just like many mothers who keep their good news private for those first few months, I too, only told a handful of people about this vision of mine.

But something happened to me around the time of this past New Moon. The Moon was in Aries, which is a great time to launch something into the world, and to go forward with courage. I have a lot of Aries in my chart and I was influenced by Her. I felt an urgency to either let this vision go or move forward with a stronger commitment. With the help of my dear friend and sister of vision, I realized that I could not abort this. It was too late, I was already in love with the tiny seed of a big vision.

And then I entered the second trimester of my creative process. Like most second trimester mamas, I feel a glow from within, a certain confidence, and less of the struggle of the first trimester. With this growth though, has come more responsibility. As all pregnant mamas eventually do, I too realized that life ‘as is’, would no longer work with this vision growing within me. I know that if I am to birth this project in her full majesty, I need to surrender my current way of being and allow myself to become something new.

I have been inspired recently by another sister of vision and new friend, Sara Avant Stover, who’s diligently working on her first book. We’ve been in dialogue about how she’s structuring her life in such a way that reflects this project as her priority. Just like any new mama would do, she’s creating the space necessary to birth her ‘baby’ into the world. Sara, who is in the third trimester with her creation, is giving me a reference point for my own unfurling. I see the fullness of her vision becoming a reality and I know that I can get there too.

So I’ve made some major lifestyle changes in the past couple of weeks, to support the demanding nature of my creative endeavour. It seems that what my vision is asking of me, is to nurture and protect my life force, my energy, as much as possible. This is manifesting as a change in my sleep habits, eating a ton of raw foods, exercising more often and more effectively, resting when I need to, cutting back on social engagements, dancing often, and generally being guided by my intuition when it comes to how to gain, maintain, and utilize my energy. I feel a lot like a pregnant mama who is learning to live with this new creation within, which demands that I be more and more in tune with myself as I woman. I’m learning to listen intently to the voice within and be attentive to her needs. There is too much at stake not to.

One difference that I have noticed though, between birthing a baby and birthing a vision, is that each ‘trimester’ in the vision-birthing process is indefinite! My first trimester was 9 months long, I wonder how long the second will be? I’ll keep you posted!

What is the vision within you that wishes to be born? Are you up for the challenge? Are you willing to make sacrifices? I’d love to hear about your creative process.

Shakti : )